I am human and at times we all fall back and go astray from ourselves. I am so upset with my current financial situation and I am so upset with being unemployed I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned and I finally just got up and said why not start your day since you can't sleep. I stay trying to be proactive in finding a job, trying to stay one step ahead of the game and yet I have not been contacted, not by phone or email, by anyone about an interview or anything. I think it really depresses me. I woke up today and I decided to go back to a good habit I had started for myself, reading my bible and praying every morning. I have gotten away from doing that, and it upsets me. I almost feel hypocritical, the Pastor is always talking about those people who only go to the Lord when they want something or when they are going through something. I am not that person. I had been doing really good with reading my bible everyday and praying all day long ( it was really like twice a day and at every meal, but it felt like it was all day), and I felt at peace when I did it. Like my days were hard yes, but waking up in the morning and being able to breathe another breath felt good and to be able to give thanks to the one who allowed for that to happen felt good. I had mentioned once before that I am not one of those super religious people, and I am not, I have a strong faith in God and I know what he can do for anyone not just myself, as long as you have faith in Him. Having God in my life gives it some kind of purpose, I think about all of the people who walk around and wonder what is their purpose in this world, and only God knows that. Living my life with Him in it allows me to see that purpose everyday a little bit clearer. I know that He will deliver me out of this rut I am in right now, He has delivered me from so much in the past and has allowed me to be strong and press on and work through things. I know that if it be in his will I will get it together and get a financial blessing, and then I will be able to put into effect all of the plans that I have for myself for the future. I know that I can't worry about my phone bill getting paid next week or what I am going to do once the food runs out, or how I plan to pay for my books this semester which I know I desperately need. I am not worried about it cause I know that God has my back and will provide for me. He always has.