What else can I say ....

I think that maybe I have gone blog crazy. I am writing like three times a day. I have too much going on and I am still trying to work on that whole positivity thing and changing the things in my life that I can change and accepting the things that I can not. I am feeling stressed and just cause I expected to live this great positive life I guess it is just normal to still get stressed out. I am going home for Christmas. I leave on next Sunday and I am flying with Northwest Airlines. I have never flown Northwest I always fly Southwest but because of transportation issues to and from airports I was stuck flying out of the city I am in with the small airport, instead of going to closer city with a larger airport. Yeah so I am stuck flying on Northwest and they suck all the way. Like I love Southwest airlines they have great rates, and great perks for their customers such as free baggage check for up to 2 bags and you get 2 carry-ons and you can change your flight date without any cost. These are just a few of the issues I have ran into in traveling with a new airline that I have had to compare.I am rather disappointed with the fact that I have to pay to check one piece of luggage, I don't get to check that one piece of luggage for free I have to pay! That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of. Like do they expect people to not travel with luggage like they charge for each piece. It is inconvenient and I don't appreciate it. Like if anything, the airline should include the charge of baggage into the price of the entire ticket if they just have to charge. Hey, they making their money though I guess, whatever they are just as bad as banks, using the fine print to get over on people and making a profit. I call my ex so that I can talk cause I found myself getting really frustrated with the situation and when I think about one bad thing going on in my life I think about all the bad things in my life. I guess I can try my hardest to dismiss my problems and be positive about them and working on how to change them but I guess until something good happens they are always there in the back of my mind waiting to attack. Most of the time I just need to do something to take my mind off of it or could use some encouraging words. But anyways, I call to talk to him and he was very non responsive and really didn't help at all. He thinks that when I come to him with my problems that I am looking to him for advice like he has all the answers and I need him to tell me what to do. I know that he is not a know-it-all and that he doesn't have all the answers, but I at least look for some kind of response from him. He always just sits on the phone and doesn't say anything and when I ask what he thinks he can never tell me he is just so non-responsive. It drives me so crazy, I want him to listen but I also want him to be the person to tell me everything is going to be alright and that I should not worry about it. He could at least encourage me or make me feel better, I can't even get that anymore. Whatever, I am over it, I don't have anyone to go to and talk to about my problems, all I have is this damn blog. Like I know that if I need to talk I can always call him and I don't have that out of anybody else. Everybody else in my life either makes themselves unavailable to me after a certain time or are just completely unreliable and never answer their phone. He is kind of the only person that is a constant thing in my life, I know I can call him and he will be there. Lately he just has not been as encouraging as I would like for him to be, but just like he told me I should not place expectations on him cause we are not together. Whatever, that is a whole load of bull in my opinion. Like if you know that I come to you with my problems and that I trust you with my personal information why not try to be more supportive and more encouraging. When he was going through his little "BF" this week I tried to be encouraging and tell him that everything will be OK and I let him have his space cause I know that that is what he needs to function through a problem. I just wish the act was returned sometimes to me. I can say that if I ever need to talk I can call him and he will answer which is more than I can say for most people. I will go pray about it now and for the strength to continue to forge my way through the storm. I can always count on my faith to have my back.